Film: All about My Mother (1999) [Spain]
Screenplay by: Pedro Almodovar
Director: Pedro Almodovar
Starring: Cecilia Roth (Manuela); Marisa Paredes (Huma Rojo); Penelope Cruz (Sister Rosa); Antonio San Juan (Agrado); Eloy Azorin (Esteban)
Dear Pedro,
As I was watching your film this past week (because Philadelphia Film Society is doing a special focus on your films), I was thinking about Mother Mary. I was also wondering if you are allowed to be so bold and so brave as a filmmaker.
Now, let me clarify.
Mother Mary. People don’t really get Mother Mary, I think, unless they spend some time with her. She is so great. She is also very quirky and has some funk to her, like all good moms. It is her peacefulness that stands out the most when you find her in your heart and your solar plexus, and she has a voice of such knowing. She just does not judge anyone. This is who Manuela reminds me of in the film. Manuela and Esteban are the classic Mother and Son—and Manuela has an ability to care for people with decorum and grace, and also accept people’s failings. So many people who wrestle with the strangeness of organized religion turn to what feels most natural to turn to for serenity and comfort and protection—a mother, Mother Mary. Manuela, too, is someone others can turn to for kindness and comfort. She never acts from a desire to hurt anyone, and revenge or deceit is not even in her vocabulary.
The boldness and braveness I see is not because you have a story about queerness in 1999, before our world started to get a little more with the program regarding sex and gender. (We still have a long way to go, obviously.) The boldness I see is the way you play with this genre of melodrama. Your movie spans many years. It is epic and yet only 100 minutes. I found myself saying, “Is he allowed to do this?” when I saw yet another signifier on the screen saying that more years had passed so we could have context for the characters. I imagine that if I had been looking at that script on paper, I might have said in a writing workshop. “Pedro, darling, audiences are not going to go with this ‘two months later,’ ‘10 years later,’ thing. Also, can you really blend the story of a mother who has lost her son tragically with ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’? Darling, I don’t know if anyone will believe it, darling. And somehow things get wrapped up nicely too? Pedro, I am just not sure this is something that film can dooooo.”
Which is why writing workshops aren’t the word of God, or anything like that. An artist has to adhere to her/his vision and execution, and the magic of the artform and the actors, because baby, your film works. You did it. And that part at the end where you dedicated the film to your mother, and to women, and to women actresses? Well, Pedro, I had to cry then and I cry now a little, too. What a sweetheart you are. What a blessing. I feel the love!
Now, I do want to share a little about what it is like to be a woman, since I find that the searching heart and soul behind this movie was really trying to understand femininity and had a serious respect for the creature of woman. And here is what I will share, rooted in my experience.
To be a woman in this world means you are desired, reviled, sought after, ignored.
You are the source of life and creativity, and always on the brink of destruction.
What I love about men who are romantic with men, or men who want to be women, is that I can usually meet them at a human level. Those men are not looking at me with eyes that say, “What can I get from you?” Or eyes that say, “What do you want from me?” I am not saying there are no exceptions to this. People are people. But I like speaking to people with ease and without presumptions made about me. You may feel this way, too.
This is why your character, Agrado (played by Antonio San Juan), is such a joy. He just is who he is. When someone is so true and straight with you, it is kind of impossible not to love them. (Unless you love lies.)
The other thing about being a woman is, we have to clean up a lot of messes that men make. At least that’s how it seems. That is what Manuela has to do for Lola, even though Lola is really Esteban with lipstick and a wig and silicon in their chest. And Rosa suffers from the mess that Lola/Esteban made too. And so does the dear young son, Esteban, who wonders about his father, but who is afraid to ask his mother because he can sense that his father caused some harm or pain, for his mother never speaks about the man. And, of course, the new baby in the film, a new Esteban, given to Manuela, also has to grow up fatherless. Still, Manuela is able to restore the child, herself, and others because she is such a divine human on earth. Good women are magic.
Also, people need a lot of conscious sex education, if we truly want to honor mothers and respect life. Capiche, world?
Jesus, on the cross, was abandoned by the male disciples. Those guys must not have known how to do hard things. They didn’t read Glennon Doyle’s books or listen to her podcasts, did they? They refused to believe, even after the loaves and the fishes and the walking on water and all the other jazz, that the guy on the cross was coming back. (Especially that Peter. The noogie was invented for guys like Peter, I suspect.) It was the women who stood by Jesus, who took him in their arms, who anointed his body, who waited and prayed, who never gave up.
Your movie captures this ancient, classic, and epic story of women who bond around the children they love—and it doesn’t matter what parts those women have between their legs. It is the story of a mother and son, and the village that surrounds them. If only more organized religion could acknowledge that love and non-judgment is what the High Priest preaches—not exclusion, not shame. If more people had someone like Manuela in their lives, they wouldn’t have to hide and dodge and fake who they are. And when you can live cleanly in the true expression of your soul, well, you make better decisions all around—don’t you think?
Hugs,
Ms. Wonderful
Ms. Wonderful Film Club is stepping into the podcast world this summer. Please don’t miss it! More details coming soon.