Dear Dahling,
How often do you play? I want to know.
The way we play, and what we play, says a lot about us. Not only is it fun and natural to play, but play reveals what is both conscious and unconscious in our minds. Imagination is the guide to the psyche—in ourselves and in the collective. This is all that psychoanalytical stuff.
It is through play—if we are brave enough to do it as adults—that we start to learn our beliefs, our desires, our hang-ups, and where we can go/what we can do with what we know. The same goes for imagination, for creativity.
We can play by ourselves or with others, but we learn a lot more when we play with others, don’t you think? Because it is only through the mirror of reflection in another person that we begin to see ourselves as we really are, rather than the stories we tell ourselves about who we are.
Let me clarify. First, we have a journey in our lives to know ourselves. Perhaps we play alone. We go within and dig deep and uncover things about who we are and what we know, and what changes or awakenings we’d like to undergo, if any. We find out, what pisses us off? What makes us soar? And then, after that deep self-knowledge, acceptance and yes, self-love, we begin to take steps that help us engage with other people in a more authentic way, which can be scary at times. It is through this third field—the entity of our relationships, how we relate to others—that we come to understand ourselves at a deeper level. We recognize we are not alone in the world. Being a human requires the constant pulse and thrust of change and renewal. Awareness. Breathing. Listening. Acceptance. And it is likely we find that with different kinds of people, we may have different or alternate identities, depending on who we are interacting with. How can we be pure in ourselves, and stay close to that purity in relationships with others who are unlike us, so that we live in integrity?
What does this have to do with Barbie? Well, Barbie is an icon and an object that has a lot of social constructs upon it/her, a lot of commentary, a lot of capitalism mixed with consumerism, mixed with image, mixed with dreams, mixed with children and behavior and how we play. So, Barbie—she and IT—is a lot like modern life. Barbie is an awesome icon to center a story around and help wake people up to how we can behave better in the world.
If a few of us were to sit down with Barbies and Kens, men and women and people who prefer no gender at all, and we were to play with these dolls and all their accoutrements, what would end up happening in this little mini world we create? What relationship dynamics would ensue? What would Barbie want, or how might she change, and what would Ken do or say? Would the story we create together—which is what children do when they play—end up shedding light on our conceptions and our misconceptions? Would our dolls be fighting and battling and having intense conversations about environmentalism, music, or what to eat for dinner? Or would our dolls create spaces of happiness and getting along?
We should find out, ay?
#Barbiesforadults / The Next Dimension!
What Director Greta Gerwig, who I am going to call Brilliant Barbie, was able to encapsulate in this movie about a toy icon that rocked the world of many a girl (and boy), was the dimensions of our individual minds and our collective psyches, and a commentary on the way things operate currently in our culture. How do men and women relate, and why? What would relationships look like if there was a different power structure in place? How can we honor both the feminine and the masculine without allowing an imbalance of power to develop? What in our daily lives impacts our dream landscape, and how are our dreams tailored according to what we see in our reality?
Whoa. This is big stuff. Shamanic healing, I tell you!
Barbie the movie is a shamanic journey, a heroine’s journey, and a feminist utopia all rolled up into one, covered in pink and capturing the delight of women all around the globe. It is quite an accomplishment in challenging the patriarchal paradigm and the current social structure. Many filmmakers aim this high. Few are capable of getting results and making loads of money at the same time. This movie is a celebration of the feminine way, the way of lightness and joy, collaboration and listening, sisterhood, bonding, humor AND dance!
(We all really need more dancing in this life.)
Watching this movie is an opportunity to look at patriarchy and turn it on its head with a happy alternative, and show the way our belief systems and our psyches and fears are like a spell we are under which can easily be broken through the power of art and film. I, for one, can tell you that I have been under that spell, too, and watching Barbies of all colors and ages wake up on screen woke me up again, in a brighter way. I left this film feeling filled with lightness, recognition, joy, and even peace. Everything is going to be okay! Barbie is here!
Can you recognize the power of an artistic creation that helps foster change, meets people from a variety of backgrounds with humor, kindness, playfulness and familiarity, and gives kids and adults hope for the future? Without any blood being shed onscreen?
Yes! Yes! Yes! I’ll take it and a slice of cake, too!
So now, can we keep this kind of thing going? Can we make an enterprise of this kind of filmmaking, please? Because I am pretty tired of Superman and Batman and ThisMan and That Man, slugging it out without any superior intelligence, convincing us that strength comes in wars and big muscles and secret caves and battling men who paint their faces and look like animals. I want to see more of these feminine superhero-shamans in pink, green, red and purple leading the way for us, sparkling and shaking their hips.
Yeah!
Cause Dear Lourdes and Lord, we all know we can’t have another criminal Ken-president wreaking havoc and chaos and holding a bible, ya know? Nominating supreme court justices, influencing laws? Ick. Touching women inappropriately and advocating racism and lying about elections? That’s how genocides begin. Jesus Christ, this was a good end to patriarchy.
Now that Barbie is here, the real party can begin!
Toodles, doll,
Ms. Wonderful
*If you want to join the Ms. Wonderful film discussion club, please head over to The Institute for Healthy Relationships and sign up so you can receive information about our monthly film discussions. Just click on “subscribe” to the newsletter to get updates.
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Kisses. Bisous.