Moonstruck (1987)
Writer: John Patrick Shanley
Director: Norman Jewison (who’sis guy?)
Actors: Cher, Nicholas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Danny Aiello (ya hearin’ me?)
*The Woodmere Art Museum in Chestnut Hill (Philadelphia) hosts free Tuesday movie nights this fall. The first showing was Moonstruck.
Dear Brooklyn,
Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. I got a bone to pick wit’ you. I got a big bone.
Why are most of the little movie theaters in Philadelphia showing movies by and with white people? Do Philadelphia know-it-alls think movies are only made by white people?
I want you to do something about this, k?
Listen, I like white people, Ma. I do. I like plenty of ‘em. Not all of ‘em, but there are a few I can trust. It’s just that I grew up on movies and if you grow up on movies and the movies have mostly white people in them and white people makin’ them, you leave out a pretty large swath of the population who’s got somethin’ to say.
Am I right or am I bingo? So you better get down here and talk to some people and make some arrangements, if you know what I mean. ‘Cause this can’t still be happenin’ in 2024. We are supposed to come together for the sake of Our Lady, the beautiful Black Madonna.
Okay, I’m hoppin’ on to discussin’ Moonstruck, made in 1987 and starring the lovely and talented Cher. Do you know she had a real jerk of a husband once? Yeah, his name was Sonny. Where the eff is Sonny now? Do you have a clue? Neither do I, because Sonny was one of those guys who had no real self-esteem or magnanimity, and all he tried to do was cut Cher down and she moved on and now she’s still goin’ strong, I’m hearing. Nice young boyfriend she’s got. What kind of name is Sonny anyway? Is he a Mama’s boy?
So without going into all the particulars, I just want to say that Cher, as Loretta Castorini—she’s…stunning, Ma. And I love the way she talks and that mouth of hers. Cher’s got that cocky in-tune-ness, don’t ya think? That side gaze that says, “I know something, I see right into your soul, but I’ll still offer you a cupcake ‘cause that’s just the kind of woman I am.”
So what is it with all the brothers in this movie wanting to marry Loretta without a ring, eh? Two men—Johnny and Ronny—ask Loretta to marry ‘em in this film, and neither of them has a ring for her! Don’t they know you have to plan ahead? It’s like that parable, the Ten Virgins, in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There were foolish people and wise people. The foolish ones don’t have oil for the lamps, but the wise ones think and plan ahead and prepare.
So I’m tellin’ you, Brooklyn, if you don’t think ahead and have enough oil for these lamps—or whatever else it is you’re workin’ on—then you’re a fool. The wise virgins have learned a thing or two and they don’t show up unannounced without a ring for the bridegroom, and whatnot. (Hey, is the bridegroom non-binary or suttin’? I bet you the Lord thought ahead about all this gender stuff and made that bridegroom non-binary because he didn’t discriminate. He’s God.)
So back to this movie, one other thing that’s important to know is that Ronny Cammareri (played by Nicholas Cage) is like an Aries bull, he just charges in and says what he wants, and a wise woman like Loretta respects that. Wise bulls don’t need to talk around things; Ronny just takes Loretta by the waist and says this magical line:
“We are meant to ruin ourselves.”
Now, this is probably the most memorable line in the movie, and I want you to think about it. This maker of bread, Ronny, is not worrying about how things look so much, and all the steps of courting a woman he’s in love with. He’s all brawn, this guy. And this line and this approach—“we are meant to ruin ourselves”—actually ties into the wisdom tradition’s ideas about the Christ. It’s called kenosis. It’s a kind of action and let me tell you a little more about it in this next paragraph.
Kenosis is purging of all, dying to oneself, and gambling all of your riches away on a moment.
It is a little known philosophy of I learned from this wise virgin named Cynthia Bourgeault. (I’m using virgin to mean independent woman here, because none of us shall be defined by sexual acts alone.) This Bourgeault Broad taught me what I know about this wisdom stuff.
We may think wisdom is planning ahead, like in the Parable of 10 Virgins. And yet there is also this philosophy of throwing yourself at the altar and putting yourself in the hands of the Divine Mother Mary. Of letting the chips fall where they may. (Are those casino chips or are they potato ones? I don’t know.)
So we gotta prepare, and we gotta be present in the moment. Because when the Lord shows up, She shows up! You have to know what you’re seeing and that it’s The Lord! Ronny the Breadmaker has been working for a long time, preparing, and when Loretta walks in, it’s kenosis time.
You see what I mean?
When you know, you know. And you gotta be wise enough to know. So you throw yourself at the foot of THE ONE, because it’s time. It’s a kind of metaphysical death. It means change and letting go and diving in.
(Actors know a lot about this—it’s the only way to excel at that craft.)
So that’s it for today, Brooklyn. This movie is a good movie. It’s fun. I like the accents and it has a lot of good speeches.
I don’t know that I could survive in a family like that, though. Like, Loretta don’t even have one woman friend she can call through all this mumbo jumbo. I think she needs to get a master’s degree and run a bakery or suttin’. That would be my advice. (Ronny probably ain’t gonna last.)
Have a very nice day.
Ms. Wonderful
What’s the point of reading books when you can scroll on social media all day and night, and play video games, and use AI to finish all your assignments?
Book authors don’t make no real money or anything, do they?
